Dear Michele

As you enter the dating world there are some things you need to know. Don’t worry this isn’t the sex talk. You’ll get that talk in a few years when you begin to get curious about boys. Right now at 17 you are in the paling stage. I’m talking about your name. Time was when a person’s good name was all they had. You don’t want to get a bad name.

As a female you have an advantage over us males because you get to change your name. This is helpful because it will throw off the people you owe money to. You get to choose your new name. When you choose the man who will someday become your ex-husband, be sure above all else, that he has a cool last name because this will be your name, for a while. You will no longer be Michele Klopfenstein.

I was glad to hear you are back talking to your little pal, Zach Peed. What a fine young man he is. Although it’s true I’ve never met him, I would love for you two kids to get married some day. It would make me so happy just to be able to say, "Michele Peed." Marrying for love is over rated. In some cultures they have arranged marriages where they don’t even know the person. You could be Michele Peed. A name that is a sentence. "Michele Peed!" "Where?" "Right over there on the carpet!"

Tell Zach I said hi.

Love, Dad