Hi. My name is Tom Klopfenstein. I'm not just the president of the Chest Hair Toupee Club For Men, I'm a customer!Last year I was talking to this guy who had a really bad toupee. I found it hard to look him in the eye. I became convinced that I could make a better toupee.
I cut off all of my chest hair and saved it in a bag. Then I concentrated on growing more. As I harvested the hair I utilized the farming technique of crop rotation. (This is not a joke. I really did this.)
Are you bald? Do you know someone who is? Do you know someone who would benefit from having my chest hair on his head?
I think that once you see our many styles you will join our millions of happy customers in saying, "Make mine out of Chest Hair!"
1 comment:
Mr. Klopfenstein,
I am the Founder, President, CEO, and CFO and Director of Operations at Bare ASSentials Inc. We here at Bare ASSentials have caught wind of the buzz you have created in the toupee industry. Chest hair. Who would have thought? Brilliant! Let me cut to the chase. Bare ASSentials is developing a sexy, waxy, latex covering that will ensure cranial stability for our targeted niche customers, male roller coaster enthusiasts. You simply apply the latex covering to your buttox, let stand for 3 minutes, firmly, but gently remove from your buttox, turn over, position as desired on your head and presto! Instant toupee! Bare ASSentials is confident that this product is a lucrative sure-shot. With that in mind, I would like you to consider a partnership with Bare ASSentials Inc. A joint venture could change the face of our industry, so that nothing falls between the cracks.
Many Regards,
Gundyman
Found, President, Ceo, CFO, Director of Operations
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