Personal Hygiene Tip Of The Day

As one of the many public services I provide I will occasionally be sharing personal hygiene tips.

Have you ever been talking to someone when you notice unruly nose hairs sprouting from each nostril? I find it so distracting. I stop listening to them. Is it an optical illusion or are the hairs clearly growing before my eyes? It makes me want to reach over and get a solid grip on those hairs and yank a handful out. So far I have resisted the urge.

I don't even know what proper etiquette requires in such a situation. To tell or not to tell. On two occasions I informed the person of the offending locks. In the first case the hirsute one responded with a blistering insult to even the score. I was only trying to be helpful. My good deed did not go unpunished.

The second time I was on a first date. We were sitting at our table in Hacienda. She had the most beautiful eyes. But my view was obstructed. There, hanging like a rock climber from her left nostril, was a lone strand.

Now I can sense that you are judging me as you read this. Well hindsight is 20/20. I like to think I would handle the situation differently now that I am ten years older and much more sophisticated. You weren't there, so I don't see how you can look down your hairless nose at me.

Maybe it was the strawberry margarita talking, or the building tension as I tried but couldn't ignore it, beads-of-sweat-formed-on-my-forehead-her-lips-were-moving-but-I-heard-nothing-I-was-repulsed-yet-I-could-not-avert-my-eyes...I heard a pressured voice blurt out, "You have a hair sticking out of your nose!"

I seem to remember an awkward moment.

Six months later we were married.

I think the lesson is clear.