Dear Michele

As I look back over my life there are some things I wish I would have done differently. I suppose that is normal for a middle aged man as myself. So please bear with me as I feel it is my duty to pass along what little wisdom I have attained.

Looking back over my life I wish I had done more crazy things. We try so hard to be mature and professional. Michele, every once in awhile do something unexpected, out there, insane. When I say insane, I mean things like mumbling to yourself as you drool, hugging cars, calling everyone Harriet, or explaining to strangers how the aliens put a microchip in your brain to monitor your thoughts. Claiming to be the messiah is always a good one.

Someday you will wish you had established a long history of insane behavior patterns so you can be declared not guilty by reason of insanity when you kill someone. And don't make the rookie mistake of thinking you can just act crazy the week before you do it either. They see right through that. Trust me, I know.

Love, Dad